the feelings of a depressed personally

(1)I want to disappear like dust these days
(2)There is nothing special in life that I want to enjoy, gain, or achieve, but the many days that remain in front of me feel distant from some point
(3)I think about my daily life dozens of times a day
(4)You make a choice, take responsibility for the result, and regret it
(5)Or repeat the process of being satisfied
(6)But these days, the choices and responsibilities
(7)It was too heavy and too light at the same time
(8)So sometimes I’m tired of even thinking
(9)I’m tired of even thinking that I’m tired
(10)I’m tired of comforting me and flogging me
(11)I’m tired of even being disappointed in myself now, so I don’t want to
(12)I want to stop everything I don’t want to do anything
(13)I want to lie still and disappear like dust
(14)As if it didn’t exist from the beginning, so that no one can remember it
(15)I want to disappear without a trace